My love/hate relationship with Texas DPS

"and 100 more" (nth256) 01/28/2015 at 18:00 • Filed to: None

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I spent about a year tooling around Austin in my '08 Jeep Patriot with a CEL that wouldn't clear, necessitating over $1000 in repair for a malfunctioning device that did not hinder the operation of the vehicle in any way, except maybe knocking off a few MPGs. I've been financially strapped, so between eating and saving up for the repair, my priorities were with my stomach. Time passed, I got a some cash, and finally made the necessary repair.

To pass the Texas Dept of Public Safety vehicle inspection, one of the key points is to not show up with any warning lights on the dash. Fair enough. Now that my car was in the clear once again, I took it in, had it inspected, and aside from the tint band across the top of the windshield that had been there since i purchased the vehicle (and had passed previous inspections in Texas), everything went swimmingly. Even though my engine sounds like shit, the clutch sounds like it's going out again (replaced just last year), my emissions were apparently good, and everything passed.

Fast forward to this past Monday, and as I suspected I might have some blow-by issues, I got a new PCV and went to replace the old one. Now, these are plastic PCV valves, presumably made of the same cast resin material as the valve cover and the intake manifold. I went to pull the hose off the old unit, and the PCV was not attached to the block. A portion of the threads had snapped off in the hole, and the valve body itself was dangling on the end of the stiff plastic PCV hose, which held it in position against the block.

About the only time it could have been broken is when the dealership that did the intake repairs had my engine apart. I suspect that someone overtightened the PCV, and the threads simply ran away from the valve body. Luckily, I was able to back the broken threaded portion out of the hole, and installed the new unit, with a bit of trepidation.

I'm looking for a moral to this story, but I'm failing to find one. I'm just glad to be driving legal again.

Have a modified Jeep Patriot for your time. This one is not mine; the owner lives in Australia and goes by big_willis on a forum we both frequent.

ttyymmnn > and 100 more 01/28/2015 at 18:28

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I feel your pain. I had to replace the catalytic converter last year to get my Golf to pass TX inspection. I actually got it done pretty cheaply at a place called The Muffin Shop over on Lamar. In and out the same day, half what anybody else in town quoted me. Original quote from my regular repair guy was $675, this shop did it for $316. Then again, exhausts are all they do. Glad you're back on the road!

Xyl0c41n3 > and 100 more 01/28/2015 at 18:31

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My dad drives an '89 Chevy conversion van that's held together by nothing more than a decades-old layer of dust and grime. How that beast passes the Texas state inspection every year is beyond me, but it does. My old cavalier once limped through an inspection with nearly-bald tires and spiderwebs of cracks all over the windshield (thanks neverending TXDoT highway repair crews!). I think sometimes it all depends on getting a sympathetic inspector. (I only passed with those tires because the guy made me promise to get them replaced, which I did on my day off later that week.

and 100 more > ttyymmnn 01/28/2015 at 18:35

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Likewise, glad you found a screaming deal!

I remember when I had the cat replaced on my Tercel years ago, the guy literally just jacked up the drivers side of the car about 2.5 feet in the air, cut off the old cat, welded in the new one, and dropped the car back down, all in about 15 minutes. He didn't even bother to pull it into a bay, he just did it right in the shop's driveway. I was impressed.

and 100 more > Xyl0c41n3 01/28/2015 at 18:41

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Yeah, I get why they have vehicle inspections, and I'm glad they didn't fail me because of the PCV, but it just seems like the process barely justifies its own existence if they pass cars that are falling apart.

My car should have failed, based solely on the engine noises its started making, but not for a check engine light due to a malfunction in a non-essential piece of equipment.

But, that's Texas!

Justin Hughes > and 100 more 01/28/2015 at 18:45

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I ended up getting my BRZ because in Ford's infinite wisdom, an ABS failure also turns on the red BRAKE warning light on a 2003 Crown Vic P71. ABS isn't required to pass MA inspection, but the BRAKE light is an automatic fail. Of course, it was the ABS module. Replacement would cost $1000 for parts and labor, and only then could they find out if anything else was wrong. I cut my losses and put the money into a down payment on the BRZ. Of course, my Crown Vic had had the ABS light on for 10 months previous to its inspection failure, running and driving with absolutely no problems whatsoever. I'd probably still be driving it today if not for that stupid "feature."

and 100 more > Justin Hughes 01/28/2015 at 18:51

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Ford and Chrysler, I believe, are secretly the same company. They certainly seem to share a penchant for stupidly designed subsystems...

Xyl0c41n3 > and 100 more 01/28/2015 at 18:52

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Texas forever!!!

*fires six shooters into the air while galloping off into the sunset on her trusty steed* ^_^

and 100 more > Xyl0c41n3 01/28/2015 at 18:58

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The horse is probably more reliable than a car that has passed TX state inspection.

Hmmm...

Justin Hughes > and 100 more 01/28/2015 at 19:00

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GM, too. I once had all non-essential electrical systems (plus the stereo, which I consider essential) die all at once in a Saturn. The culprit? The door chime fuse had blown.

PatBateman > Xyl0c41n3 01/28/2015 at 19:02

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YEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWW!!!!!!!

Xyl0c41n3 > and 100 more 01/28/2015 at 19:06

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LMAO! And, nobody looks at you funny when you take the horse through the Whataburger drive-thru lane.

and 100 more > Xyl0c41n3 01/28/2015 at 19:14

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Right, they only give you dirty looks if you happen to use your horse's head as a temporary resting place for your chocolate shake.

and 100 more > Xyl0c41n3 01/28/2015 at 19:20

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I take it you're a native, correct? Help me out here...

I have a neighbor from Dallas that swears it's pronounced "water-burger". I'd patently disbelieve her on this, until I consider how we pronounce words like "Guadalupe", "Manor" and "Manchaca".

How is it supposed to be said? I refuse to say "water-burger" regardless, I just want to know, as a non-native, how many people I can actually offend. It's a nihilistic pastime of mine.

Xyl0c41n3 > and 100 more 01/28/2015 at 20:05

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Yes, I'm a native. And yes, it is indeed pronounced "Water-burger," not "What-A-Burger."

The only person who ever says it "What-A-Burger" is William Basset, an Ohio native who lives in California. Basset is otherwise known as "the voice of Whataburger" because it was his dulcet, slightly gravelly, twangy drawl that Texans heard in Whataburger commercials for almost a decade. Like his non-native roots, his accent, too, was foreign: an affectation he cultivated specifically for the commercials, combining bits of linguistic characteristics from across the South in order to create his "quintessential" Texan sound.

Also, if you think those are funny words, you should try figuring out how "Mexia," "Salado," and "Bexar" are pronounced.

By the by, where are you from, then?

Xyl0c41n3 > and 100 more 01/28/2015 at 20:06

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Well, depending on how hot out it is, your horse might just appreciate it. ^_~

Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man > and 100 more 01/28/2015 at 20:16

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solution=move to a state without inspections.

and 100 more > Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man 01/28/2015 at 21:20

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Wish I could.

itranthelasttimeiparkedit > and 100 more 01/28/2015 at 21:41

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There is a place in austin that will magically pass vehicles, I've had to use it a few times...

Makoyouidiot > and 100 more 01/28/2015 at 22:37

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Dunno if it's still legal, but I know folks from DFW used to drive out to my area (couple of hours west) to get inspections done, purely because we don't do emissions. I even passed several years with a CEL on in my Silverado due to a knock sensor being out.

and 100 more > Makoyouidiot 01/29/2015 at 00:00

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Yeah, a few folks suggested that to me. I got pulled over at one point, and the cop let me off with a warning, but said theyve really been cracking down on folks who try to do that.

Hey, is your user name a reference to Kill La Kill?

and 100 more > Xyl0c41n3 01/29/2015 at 11:29

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Bexar and Mexia I get, because they're basically true to the original Spanish pronunciations. Salado gets butchered about 17 different ways.

I think the problem stems from the large historical populations of Mexican natives and German immigrants in the area originally, and the final accepted language being English. Shit just got fucked up, and nobody cared enough at that point to pronounce anything correctly.

The ones that kill me the most are "Gruene" and "Buda"...

Xyl0c41n3 > and 100 more 01/29/2015 at 15:46

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Nope. Neither Mexia nor Bexar are pronounced anything like the Spanish pronunciation would have them be. Mexia is pronounced locally as "Muh-HAY-uh" versus "Meh-HEE-yah." And Bexar is pronounced locally as "Bear" versus "Beh-HARR." Salado is "Suh-LAY-Doe" versus "Sah-LAH-doh." But you're right, the interesting confluence of cultures and languages in Central Texas has led to some pretty unique amalgamations. All I know is now I'm REALLY craving a kolache.

and 100 more > Xyl0c41n3 01/29/2015 at 16:13

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But wait! Are you craving a kolache...

... or a kolache?

Fucking Texas...

As for Mexia and Bexar... you done lost me. I've never heard either one pronounced the ways you describe, and I've even corrected people who want to pronounce the "ecks"...

And is it true that the town of Salado is pronounced one way, but Salado Creek (that runs through the town of Salado) is pronounced differently?